Clean Jokes

One Liners

Enjoy our collection of one liners, after all that’s what they are here for!

Incorrectly Joke

Posted in One Liners

The only time incorrectly isn’t spelled incorrectly is when it’s spelled incorrectly.

GD Star Rating
loading...

Top Ten One Liners

Posted in One Liners, Short Jokes

1. Escalators don’t break down… they just turn into stairs
2. “I’m sorry” and “I apologize” mean the same thing… except when you’re at a funeral.
3. I intend to live forever… or die trying.
4. We never knew he was a drunk… until he showed up to work sober.
5. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
6. A blind man walks into a bar….And a table, and a chair.
7. At what age is it appropriate to tell my dog that he’s adopted?
8. Want to hear a pizza joke…. nah, it’s too cheesy. What about a construction joke? Oh never mind, I’m still working on that one. Did you hear the one about the rope? Skip it. Have you heard the one about the guy in the wheelchair? Never mind, it’s too lame.
9. I used to be in a band, we were called ‘lost dog’. You probably saw our posters.
10. I childproofed the house… but they still get in!

GD Star Rating
loading...

Sleep Joke

Posted in One Liners, Text Jokes

Sleep is my drug….my bed is my dealer….and my alarm clock is the police.

GD Star Rating
loading...
Advertisements

Brain Joke

Posted in One Liners, Short Jokes

I used to think the brain was the most important organ. Then I thought, look what’s telling me that.

GD Star Rating
loading...

Don’t Exaggerate!

Posted in One Liners, Short Jokes, Text Jokes

If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a million times don’t exaggerate!

GD Star Rating
loading...

Swimming Pool Joke

Posted in One Liners, Text Jokes

Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards
the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.

GD Star Rating
loading...

Joy Of Marriage Joke

Posted in Marriage Jokes, One Liners, Wedding Jokes

Marriage is like a bar of soap. It smells delicious until you take a bite out of it!

GD Star Rating
loading...

Hypothetical Joke

Posted in One Liners, Text Jokes, Witty One Liners

What if there were no hypothetical situations?

GD Star Rating
loading...

Internet Quotes Joke

Posted in Cute Quotes, One Liners

“The difficult thing with quotes on the internet is verifying them”
– Abraham Lincoln

GD Star Rating
loading...

OCD Joke

Posted in One Liners

I have CDO. It’s like OCD, but the letters are in alphabetical order, LIKE THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO BE.

GD Star Rating
loading...
Advertisements
Advertisements

Favorite Joke Categories