Q: What has a face and 2 hands but no body?
A: A clock
Enjoy our collection of Funny Riddles, after all that’s what they are here for!
1. Johnny ‘s mother had three children. The first child was named April The second child was named May. What was the third child ‘s name?
Johnny of course
2. There is a clerk at the butcher shop, he is five feet ten inches tall, and he wears size 13 sneakers. What does he weigh?
3. Before Mt. Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain in the world?
Mt. Everest; it just wasn ‘t discovered yet. [ You’re not very good at this are you?]
4. How much dirt is there in a hole that measures two feet by three feet by four feet?
There is no dirt in a hole.
5. What word in the English Language is always spelled incorrectly?
6. Billy was born on December 28th , yet his birthday is always in the summer. How is this possible?
7. In California , you cannot take a picture of a man with a wooden leg. Why not?
You can’t take pictures with a wooden leg. You need a camera to take pictures.
8. What was the President ‘s Name in 1975?
Same as is it now – Barack Obama [Oh, come on …]
9. If you were running a race, and you passed the person in 2nd place, what place would you be in now?
You would be in 2nd. Well, you passed the person in second place, not first.
10. Which is correct to say, “The yolk of the egg are white” or “The yolk of the egg is white”?
Neither, the yolk of the egg is yellow [Duh]
11. If a farmer has 5 haystacks in one field and 4 haystacks in the other field, how many haystacks would he have if he combined them all in another field?
One. If he combines all of his haystacks, they all become one big one.
So Joe was once again caught lying to his teacher, and his teacher Mr. Rogers had enough. “Come here Joe” he said. “Here is your punishment, I want you to make a statement, if it’s true you get detention, if it’s false you get suspended.”
Q. What did the Joe say that caused him not to get punished at all?
A. I will be suspended.
Two men met at a bus stop and struck up a conversation.
One of them kept complaining of family problems.
Finally, the other man said: “You think you have family problems? Listen to my situation:
“A few years ago I met a young widow with a grown-up daughter.
We got married and I got myself a stepdaughter.
Later, my father married my stepdaughter.
That made my stepdaughter, my step-mother.
And my father became my stepson.
Also, my wife became mother-in-law of her father-in-law.
Much later, the daughter of my wife, my stepmother, had a son.
This boy was my half-brother because he was my father’s son.
But he was also the son of my wife’s daughter which made him my wife’s grandson.
That made me the grandfather of my half-brother.
This was nothing until my wife and I had a son.
Now the half-sister of my son, my stepmother, is also the grandmother.
This makes my father, the brother-in-law of my child, whose stepsister is my father’s wife, I am my stepmother’s brother-in-law, my wife is her own child’s aunt, my son is my father’s nephew and I am my OWN GRANDFATHER!”