18 year old, Dan was walking home from a Halloween party at his friends house, when he heard a thumping noise behind him. THUMP, THUMP, THUMP, THUMP. When Dan turned around he saw it was a coffin behind him.
Dan started walking quicker but the THUMPS were still right behind him. Soon Dan was running, the coffin started running to.
Now Dan was running faster than he had ever ran in his life but the coffin was still right behind him!
“HELP!” Dan screamed! He ran into his house and tried to slam the door but the coffin caught the door and started following him up the steps THUMP, THUMP, THUMP, THUMP, Dan ran into the bathroom and grabbed the first thing he saw, cough drops, and threw them at the coffin….and of course the coffin’ stopped.
1. We have a genetic predisposition for diarrhea.
Runs in our jeans.
2. Apparently, someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds.
3. I tried to catch fog yesterday,
4. Why did the scarecrow get a raise?
He was outstanding in his field.
5. Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
6. Someone stole my Microsoft Office and they’re gonna pay.
You have my Word.
7. My wife accused me of being immature.
I told her to get out of my fort.
8. What do you call a woman on the arm of a banjo player?
9. I called a psychic once. She asked who was on the line, so I hung up.
10. I took the shell off my racing snail, thinking it would make him run faster.
If anything, it made him more sluggish.
Q.What’s Brown and sticky?
Did you here about the guy who lost his whole left side?
He’s alright now!
Pessimist: Oh, this can’t get any worse!
Optimist: Yes, it can!
Q. Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
A. It’s ok, he woke up.
When life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.
Q. What do you call a fly with no wings?
A. A walk!
Two snowmen are standing next to each other in a yard.
One says to the other, “Funny, I smell carrots too.”
Q. What did the cat say after eating two robins lying in the sun?
A. I just love baskin’ robins.