Sister Marry was truly a religious woman. Besides for her duties as a nun, she was also very active in various hospitals visiting sick patients and taking care of all their needs.
So it was no surprise that one day when she ran out of gas, the only container she could find to put the gas into was a bedpan. Sister Mary happily walked two blocks to the closest gas station filled up the bedpan with gas and headed back to her car.
Luck would have it that as Sister Mary started tipping the gas into the fuel tank, the traffic light turned red and she had quite a large audience witnessing the spectacle.
Just when she finished pouring in the last drops of gas a fellow opened up his window and hollered, “I swear! If that car starts I’m becoming a religious man!”
Little Bob went with his mom to church every Sunday. One morning in the middle of the service Bob complained that he was feeling a bit queasy and was afraid he was going to puke. “No problem dear,” whispered his Mom in his ear, “just head on over to the bathroom on the other side of the Church, and take care of it there.” Thirty seconds later Bob came back. “Did you go to the bathroom?” question his Mom. “No need” responded Bob. “Right outside the door was a big box with a sign next to it ‘for the sick’, so I just did it in there!”
Harry walked over to the Priest after services, “You know Father, I am really stuck in a quandary I would like to attend church next week but I just can’t miss the big game next Sunday, it’s just out of the question.” “Oh Harry Harry” said the Priest putting his arm around Harry, “don’t you know? that’s what recorders are for.” Harry’s face lit up “you mean I could record your sermon?”
I was a little surprised when my son suddenly announced one day after church, “I am thinking of being a Minister when I grow up.” “Why is that?” I asked. “Well, I figure I have to go to church on Sundays anyway, and I think it’ll be more fun to stand and yell then to just sit and listen.”
A friend of mine was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the vicar was standing at the door, as always , to shake hands with the worshipers. He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside. The vicar said to him, “You need to join the army of the Lord.” My friend replied, “I’m already in the army of the Lord, Father.”So the vicar inquired, “Then how come I only see you at Christmas and at Easter?”
My friend whispered back, “I’m in the secret service.”