Clean Jokes

Church Jokes

Enjoy our collection of church jokes, after all that’s what they are here for!

Feeling Sick Joke

Posted in Church Jokes, Cute Jokes

Little Bob went with his mom to church every Sunday. One morning in the middle of the service Bob complained that he was feeling a bit queasy and was afraid he was going to puke. “No problem dear,” whispered his Mom in his ear, “just head on over to the bathroom on the other side of the Church, and take care of it there.” Thirty seconds later Bob came back. “Did you go to the bathroom?” question his Mom. “No need” responded Bob. “Right outside the door was a big box with a sign next to it ‘for the sick’, so I just did it in there!”

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Absent From Church Joke

Posted in Church Jokes, Sports Jokes

Harry walked over to the Priest after services, “You know Father, I am really stuck in a quandary I would like to attend church next week but I just can’t miss the big game next Sunday, it’s just out of the question.” “Oh Harry Harry” said the Priest putting his arm around Harry, “don’t you know? that’s what recorders are for.” Harry’s face lit up “you mean I could record your sermon?”

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What Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up?

Posted in Church Jokes, Cute Jokes, Little Johnny Jokes

I was a little surprised when my son suddenly announced one day after church, “I am thinking of being a Minister when I grow up.” “Why is that?” I asked. “Well, I figure I have to go to church on Sundays anyway, and I think it’ll be more fun to stand and yell then to just sit and listen.”

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Good Church Excuse

Posted in Church Jokes, Long Jokes

A friend of mine was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the vicar was standing at the door, as  always , to shake hands with the worshipers. He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside. The vicar said to him, “You need to join the army of the Lord.” My friend replied, “I’m already in the army of the Lord, Father.”So the vicar inquired, “Then how come I only see you  at Christmas and at Easter?”
My friend whispered back, “I’m in the secret service.”

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