I told my friend that she drew her eyebrows on too high.
She looked surprised.… Read the Complete Joke
Women Jokes
Enjoy our collection of women jokes, after all that’s what they are here for!
Eyebrows Joke
Women Jokes
Differences between Men and Women
Marriage Jokes
• Women have more imagination than men. They need it to tell men how wonderful they are.
• Women have a number of faults. Men have only two – everything they say and everything they do.
• A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
• Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
• When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. When men are depressed, they invade another country.
• A man is a person who will pay £2 for a £1 item he wants. A woman, however, will pay £1 for a £2 item that she doesn’t want.
• Diamonds are a girl’s best friend. Dogs are a man’s best friend. Now you know which sex is smarter.
• It’s … Read the Complete Joke
Jury Duty Joke
Wife Jokes
It was Sally’s first time going for jury duty and she was a little bit apprehensive. “I would just like you to know” said Sally as soon as she was in front of the judge “that I feel very strongly that capital punishment is morally unjust and incorrect.” “That’s OK , said the judge “capital punishment is not a possibility in this case so it’s perfectly fine for you to serve on this jury.” “What’s the case about?” Asked Sally. “Well Mrs. Smith is filing a suit against her husband for gambling away the money she had saved for remodeling her bathroom”, replied the judge. “Alright” replied Sally “I’ll serve on this one, I may have been wrong about the capital punishment thing after all.”… Read the Complete Joke
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Casino Joke
Women Jokes
Did you hear the story about the middle aged lady who went to the casino? Sandy went to the casino for the first time and ended up by a table playing roulette. ”How does one decide which number to pick?” She wondered aloud. ”I picked my age” suggested an older gentleman on her left. So Sandy decided to pick the number thirty two. The Croupier gave the wheel a spin, it landed on forty seven, and Sandy fell over in a faint.… Read the Complete Joke
Men Vs. Woman Joke #2
Men Jokes
Male Vs. Female
NICKNAMES
If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah
If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.
EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it’s only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need but it’s on sale.
BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel
The average number of items in the typical woman’s … Read the Complete Joke
Men Vs Woman Joke
Women Jokes
MALE VS. FEMALE AT THE ATM MACHINE
A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:
‘Please note that this Bank is installing new
Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.
Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.
After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been developed. Please follow the Appropriate steps for your gender.’
MALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.
FEMALE PROCEDURE:
What is really funny is that most of this part is the Truth.!!!!
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with
Cynical Girlfriend Thought
Cute Quotes
“If money grew on trees – girls wouldn’t mind dating monkeys”… Read the Complete Joke
What Do Beer And Women Have In Common?
Beer Jokes
Scientists recently discovered that beer contains small traces of female hormones. This was proven by giving 100 men 12 pints of beer and observed that an astonishing percentage, 100%, started talking nonsense and couldn’t drive.… Read the Complete Joke
Respectful Husband Joke
One Liners
I haven’t spoken to my wife for 18 months- I don’t like to interrupt her.… Read the Complete Joke
Top Ten Things Men Understand About Women
Women Jokes
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2.
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10.… Read the Complete Joke
Heart Attack Joke
Women Jokes
There are studies that show that men get more heart attacks than women. But it’s still unclear if men are prone to getting heart attacks, or if women are more prone to giving them! … Read the Complete Joke
Who’s Wearing The Pants?
Long Jokes
A man died and went up to heaven. Upon arriving he noticed two signs One said “Men Who Are Bossed By Their wives,” the other one said “Men Not Bossed By Their Wives.” After closer inspection he noticed that while next to the first sign was a big line, by the second sign there was just one man. After getting even closer he realized it was his friend Harry. “Hey Harry” the man questioned “what in the world are you doing here? Your wife bosses you around more then anybody.” “I don’t know” Harry replied “my wife told me to stand here.” … Read the Complete Joke