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Enjoy our collection of women jokes, after all that’s what they are here for!

Men Vs Woman Joke

MALE VS. FEMALE AT THE ATM MACHINE
A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:

‘Please note that this Bank is installing new
Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.
Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.
After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been developed. Please follow the Appropriate steps for your gender.’

MALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.

FEMALE PROCEDURE:
What is really funny is that most of this part is the Truth.!!!!

1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided!
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.

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Posted in Women Jokes

Cynical Girlfriend Thought

“If money grew on trees – girls wouldn’t mind dating monkeys”

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Posted in Cute Quotes, Women Jokes

What Do Beer And Women Have In Common?

Scientists recently discovered that beer contains small traces of female hormones. This was proven by giving 100 men 12 pints of beer and observed that an astonishing percentage, 100%, started talking nonsense and couldn’t drive.

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Posted in Beer Jokes, Women Jokes
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Respectful Husband Joke

I haven’t spoken to my wife for 18 months- I don’t like to interrupt her.

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Posted in One Liners, Women Jokes

Top Ten Things Men Understand About Women

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
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7.
8.
9.
10.

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Posted in Women Jokes

Heart Attack Joke

There are studies that show that men get more heart attacks than women. But it’s still unclear if men are prone to getting heart attacks, or if women are more prone to giving them!

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Posted in Women Jokes

Who’s Wearing The Pants?

A man died and went up to heaven. Upon arriving he noticed two signs One said “Men Who Are Bossed By Their wives,” the other one said “Men Not Bossed By Their Wives.” After closer inspection he noticed that while next to the first sign was a big line, by the second sign there was just one man. After getting even closer he realized it was his friend Harry. “Hey Harry” the man questioned “what in the world are you doing here? Your wife bosses you around more then anybody.” “I don’t know” Harry replied “my wife told me to stand here.”

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Posted in Long Jokes, Marriage Jokes, Relationship Jokes, Women Jokes
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