Clean Jokes

Cute Jokes

Ever think about why everyone loves kids? What about them is so endearing? Is it a survival strategy by G-D to make sure we take care of them, and to make sure we keep having more? Is there any logic to it? Perhaps part of the reason is that they are non threatening. There little body and big pure eyes also captivate us. But most of all it’s there innocence with a mix of frankness that adds a dose of freshness to our lives. So enjoy our collection of cute sayings of the untainted minds.
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photo credit: satanoid

Feeling Sick Joke

Posted in Church Jokes, Cute Jokes

Little Bob went with his mom to church every Sunday. One morning in the middle of the service Bob complained that he was feeling a bit queasy and was afraid he was going to puke. “No problem dear,” whispered his Mom in his ear, “just head on over to the bathroom on the other side of the Church, and take care of it there.” Thirty seconds later Bob came back. “Did you go to the bathroom?” question his Mom. “No need” responded Bob. “Right outside the door was a big box with a sign next to it ‘for the sick’, so I just did it in there!”

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Funny Joke About A Grandma Getting In Trouble

Posted in Cute Jokes, Death Jokes

Bobby was sitting on the porch talking to his Grandpa when he innocently asked, “Grandpa, do you know how to make animal sounds?”

“I sure do” Grandpa replied. “What sort of animal sound would you like to hear?”

“How about a toad? Do you know how to sound like a toad?”

“Sure”, said Grandpa, cupping his hand to his mouth, “croaaak croaaak, how did you like that?!”

“Yipee!” screamed Bobby jumping up and down, “We are going to Miami!”

“Huh?” Questioned Grandpa. “Why’s that?”

“Because Grandma said so,” Bobby patiently explained, “she said that after you croak we’ll all go to Miami!”

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High Fever Joke

Posted in Cute Jokes, Doctor Jokes, Little Johnny Jokes, Medical Jokes

My four year old daughter had a terrible case of the flu, she was achy, had a high fever, and was terribly hoarse. After waiting in the waiting room at the doctor’s office for over an hour we were finally admitted to see the Doctor.

After the usual routine of listening to her breathing and checking her ears, the Doctor looked my daughter in the eye and said, “so what would you say is bothering  you the most?”

Without skipping a beat my daughter promptly answered, “Billy, he always breaks my toys!”

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Animal Cracker Joke

Posted in Cute Jokes, Fish Jokes

“Mom, can I have an animal cracker?” asked 3 year old Bob. “Sure Bob,” said his mom. “Open up the box, and take a few.”

Forty five minutes later Bob’s mother walked into the kitchen. “Bob, why’d you spill out all of the animal crackers, and what are you looking for?”

“It said on the box not to eat it if the seal is broken.” Bob replied “I spilled out the whole box, I looked through all of the animals but I can’t find any seals!”

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Door Bell Joke

Posted in Cute Jokes, Life Jokes

Everyone loved Priest John. He was a happy jolly fellow always willing to help or lend a hand. One time John was walking down the street humming a tune when he saw a little boy trying to reach the doorbell of a nearby house.  “Hey there sonny” said John “let me help you out”, and with that  John reached out and pressed the bell. “Anything else I can do for you,” asked John with a smile. “Yes” said the boy. “Run! We’ve only got a few seconds before they come!”

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Kiss Joke

Posted in Clever Jokes, Cute Jokes, Little Johnny Jokes

I lovingly gave my niece a kiss on her cheek upon seeing her at a family get-together.  Afterwards, I noticed her wiping her cheek.  “Are you wiping off my kiss?”, I asked her.  “No”, she smartly replied, “I’m just rubbing it in!”

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Back Seat Driver Joke

Posted in Cute Jokes, Little Johnny Jokes

My daughter sure showed me what a back seat driver I am!  On our way to the mall today, I stopped short at a red light causing the car to jolt.  As soon as I jerked my 3 year old in the back seat hollered Daaaaave.  Not sure why she had called my husband’s name, I asked her why she had said what she did.  “That’s what you say when someone stops like that”, she innocently replied.

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Boxing Joke

Posted in Cute Jokes

Trying to be a good dad and spend some time with my son, I used to pretend we were boxing. I would get into a fighter stance and jab with both of my fists saying one-two one-two. That all came to a rather abrupt end, when one day his teacher was handing something out to his class, and asked my son, “would you like one too?”

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Tooth Fairy Joke

Posted in Cute Jokes

“Are you the tooth fairy?” my seven year old asked, after yet another tooth fell out. Very impressed that she picked up on this, I assured her that I am in fact the tooth fairy. My bubble was burst a few minutes later, when after thinking for a few seconds she asked, “how do you get into the other kids houses?”

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Seal Joke

Posted in Cute Jokes

I was eagerly drinking in the attention in my grandson’s second grade class telling them what it was like to be a Navy Seal. My bubble was soon burst when I asked if their are any questions. “So” questioned one girl, “can you balance a ball on your nose?”

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