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Clean Jokes

Food Jokes

Enjoy our collection of food jokes, after all that’s what they are here for!

Leftovers Joke

Posted in Food Jokes, Funny Stories, People Jokes

“Oh no! not leftovers again!” complained my older sister when she saw the leftover meatloaf on the table from last nights supper.

“Young lady” responded my father sternly, “do you know how many people would love to have a delicious supper like this?! You should be ashamed of yourself! Now before we start eating I want to hear you say grace thanking the Lord for this delicious meal!”

“Thank you Lord for this delicious supper”, muttered my sister submissively “….again!”

 

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Restaurant Joke

Posted in Food Jokes

Sarah, Rosemary, and Anne went to a restaurant together to celebrate old times.

“I’ll take some Tom Yum soup” said Sarah to the waiter. “Nah” said the waiter waving his hand “you probably won’t like it, it’s way too spicy! Why don’t you  try the Garden Vegetable Soup?  “Alright,” said Sarah. “You know better than me, after all you are the waiter!”

“And how about you Ma’am?” said the waiter turning to Rosemary. “I think I’ll take the poached fish,” said Rosemary, after carefully examining the menu.  “I don’t really think you’ll like it,” said the waiter, “it’s very bland. Why don’t you try the Rib Steak with Garlic Marinade? “OK, I’ll take that instead,”  said Rosemary.

“And how about you?” said the waiter turning to Anne. “I don’t know, I can’t decide,” said Anne looking up from the menu, “what do you recommend?”

“Recommend?” said the waiter with a surprised look on his face, “who has time to recommend stuff smack in the middle of dinner hour!”

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Diet Joke

Posted in Food Jokes

A group of prosperous businessmen were dining at the Sam’s Hotel in Las Vegas.
“Seems to me you are getting a little slimmer,” remarked one.
“I should be!” replied the other. “I went on one of those high protein diets. Nothing but expensive steaks and chops. And would you believe it?-in just two weeks I lost thirty dollars!”

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Raising Kids Joke

Posted in Food Jokes, People Jokes

Sandy and Norman were in despair. Their 3 year old son Timmy still had not learned how to talk. Not a word had escaped through those now 3 year old lips. One night at dinner, Timmy took a taste of his pie, and to their utter surprise and amazement, said: “You call this pie? It tastes like some tasteless mush!”. Sandy and Norman sat there in shock, for this was not just their son’s first sentence, but the first words he ever uttered! Once the initial shock had subsided, Norman asked “tell me Timmy, how come you never spoke until now?” “I never had any reason to” explained Timmy. “Everything was always fine.”

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Misunderstanding Joke

Posted in Food Jokes

Jim was in a bad mood, and anyone who got in is way was going to regret it.  Jim walked into his favorite restaurant and plopped himself down on a chair.   “Get me a steak well done with mashed potatoes. ” Three minutes later when his order came, Jim screamed “DIDN’T YOU HEAR ME SAY WELL DONE?!” “Why thank you sir” the waitress smiled,  “that was the first compliment I got all day!”

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Pork Joke

Posted in Clever Jokes, Food Jokes, Long Jokes

The leader of the vegetarian society just couldn’t control himself anymore. He just needed to try some pork, just to see what it tasted like. So one summer day he told his members he was going on a vacation. He packed out of town, and headed to the nearest restaurant. After sitting down, he ordered a roasted pig, and impatiently waited for his delicacy.

After just a few minutes, he heard someone call his name, and to his great chagrin he saw one of his fellow members walking towards him. Just at that same moment, the waiter walked over, with a huge platter, holding a full roasted pig with an apple in it’s mouth.

“Isn’t that something,” says the leader after only a moments pause, “all I do is order an apple, and look what it comes with!”

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A Drink Joke

Posted in Food Jokes

Sam heard all about the great service in the “Sleep Fine Hotel”, so after dropping his stuff in his room, he excitedly headed down to the hotel lounge. He was only there for a few minutes when a beautifully dressed waitress came over to him. “Would you like something to drink?” she asked. Sam took in a deep breath, looked around at the beautiful lobby and asked “what are my choices?” The woman’s gave Sam a strange look, and responded in an extra loud and slow voice, “yeees or noooo.”

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Snowman Joke

Posted in Cheesy Jokes, Food Jokes, Silly Jokes

Two snowmen are standing next to each other in a yard.
One says to the other, “Funny, I smell carrots too.”

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Clean Restaurant Joke

Posted in Food Jokes, Good Jokes

So these two roaches, Tom and Oscar, are hanging out next to a dumpster enjoying a snack. “Hey Tom” said Oscar  to his friend, “You know that restaurant down the block? I went there yesterday to pick up some scraps, and I couldn’t believe how clean it was, I could practically see my reflection through the shiny waxed floor.” “Oscar” hollered Tom spitting the food out of his mouth, “please not while I am eating!!”

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Funny Drive Through Video

Posted in Food Jokes, Funny Videos

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