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Enjoy our collection of religious jokes, after all that’s what they are here for!

Nun Joke

Sister Marry was truly a religious woman. Besides for her duties as a nun, she was also very active in various hospitals visiting sick patients and taking care of all their needs.

So it was no surprise that one day when she ran out of gas, the only container she could find to put the gas into was a bedpan. Sister Mary happily walked two blocks to the closest gas station filled up the bedpan with gas and headed back to her car.

Luck would have it that as Sister Mary started tipping the gas into the fuel tank, the traffic light turned red and she had quite a large audience witnessing the spectacle.

Just when she finished pouring in the last drops of gas a fellow opened up his window and hollered, “I swear! If that car starts I’m becoming a religious man!”

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Posted in Church Jokes, Funny Stories, Religious Jokes

Adam and Eve Joke

Existence was so tranquil and peaceful for the young couple Adam and Eve, like straight out of a story book, until one unfortunate day when Adam showed up one hour late for supper.

By the time Adam finally came home Eve was a nervous wreck, and her imagination was working overtime.

“Honey, what happened? Why are you home so late?” Questioned Eve. “Oh I’m sorry! Adam responded with a wave of his hand, “I just lost track of the time.”

Now Eve didn’t have a Mother or girlfriend around to calm her fears, after all it was just her and her Husband and despite Adam’s convincing act  her overactive imagination could not be calmed.

That night after two hours of restlessly turning in her bed, enough was enough.

“WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU DOING!” Hollered Adam jumping out of bed.

“YOU KNOW DARN WELL WHAT I’M DOING” Screamed Eve right back, “NOW YOU BETTER LAY STILL RIGHT NOW, AND LET ME FINISH COUNTING THOSE RIBS!

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Posted in Funny Speech Openers, Marriage Jokes, Relationship Jokes, Religious Jokes

God Joke

A man, late for an important meeting, was searching desperately for a parking spot in a crowded lot. Looking up to the sky he entreated “Lord if you find me a parking spot, I promise to start going to church again.” The words were barely out of his mouth, when a spot opened up right in front of his car. The man looked back up, “never mind I found one.”

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Posted in Religious Jokes
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Submitted By GOD

The ten commandments are not multiple choice. G-D

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Posted in Religious Jokes

Stop Complaining!!!

A young Catholic priest decided to enter a monastery. He joined one particularly strict sect. The head monk told him, at his indoctrination, that they were sworn to TOTAL silence. They could not speak one word at all. However, every ten years, they would be permitted to speak two words.After 10 years of total silence, the head monk indicated it was now time for him to speak his two words. The monk said, “Bed hard!” And then he resumed his silent study and work.Another 10 years passed and the head monk again indicated it was time for him to speak his two words. The monk said, “Food bad!” And then he resumed his silent study and work.Another 10 years passed and the head monk again indicated it was time for him to speak his two words. The monk said, “I quit!”The head monk shook his head and said, “I knew this was coming. You’ve done nothing but complain for the past 30 years!”

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Posted in Long Jokes, Religious Jokes
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