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Enjoy our collection of people jokes, after all that’s what they are here for!

Bitter Divorce Joke

It was a bitter divorce, after four years of marriage and two children it was over. Sam showed up in court together with his ex to see what the verdict would be. Finally after a long court case the verdict was decided. “Ok”, said the judge, turning to Sam, “I am rewarding your ex-wife Ann $470 dollars a month.” “That’s really kind of you, and I really appreciate it” said Sam “I’ll try to send her a little bit from time to time myself.”

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Posted in Funny Stories, Life Jokes, Marriage Humor, Men Jokes

Cow Joke

Q. How did the blonde die while drinking milk.

A.The cow sat down.

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Posted in Blonde Jokes, Short Jokes

The Crazy House Joke

Frank lived next door to the city crazy house. One day he was happily minding his own business when he heard some chanting coming from next door. “Twenty one, twenty one twenty one..”. After listening for a few minutes curiosity got the better of him and he strolled over to see if he could figure out what it was all about. Nearing the house he spotted a small hole in the wall. Frank bent down and peered through the hole into the house. Suddenly as if out of nowhere, a finger came out of the hole and poked him in the eye. Frank fell back clutching his eye, he than heard the chanting change “twenty two twenty two twenty two….”

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Posted in Life Jokes, People Jokes
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LOL Joke

John angrily looked at the text he had just received from his Mom.  It read: “Professor called to say you failed the course.  LOL.  Mom. ”  How could he have failed?! … And all his Mom has to say is that she’s Laughing Out Loud?!  Fed up, he text-ed his Mom: “What was up with the LOL?”  his text said.   “I just wanted to send you Lot’s Of Love because I know how disappointed you must be.”

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Rating: 3.2/5 (288 votes cast)

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Posted in Funny Stories, Old People Jokes, Women Jokes

Men Vs Woman Joke

MALE VS. FEMALE AT THE ATM MACHINE
A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:

‘Please note that this Bank is installing new
Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.
Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.
After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been developed. Please follow the Appropriate steps for your gender.’

MALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.

FEMALE PROCEDURE:
What is really funny is that most of this part is the Truth.!!!!

1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided!
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.

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Posted in Women Jokes

River Joke

Two Blondes are on opposite sides of the river, “How do I get to the other side?” hollered one blonde. “You are on the other side,” the other one hollered back.

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Posted in Blonde Jokes

Smart Mother In Law Joke

So David Is finally engaged, and is excited to show off his new bride. “Ma”, he said to his Mother, “I’m going to bring home three girls and I want you to guess which one is my fiance.” Sure enough twenty minutes later, David  walks in the door with three girls following behind him. “It’s that one”, said his mother, without blinking an eye.  “Holy cow”, exclaimed David, “how in the world did you know it was her?” “I just don’t like her”, she replied.

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Posted in Mother In Law Jokes

Magic Show Joke

I was at a magic show, when after one particularly amazing trick, someone screamed out, “wow, how did you do that.” I would tell you”, answered the magician predictably, “but then I’d have to kill you.” After a moments pause the same voice screamed out “can you tell my mother in law?”

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Posted in Mother In Law Jokes

Kiss Joke

I lovingly gave my niece a kiss on her cheek upon seeing her at a family get-together.  Afterwards, I noticed her wiping her cheek.  “Are you wiping off my kiss?”, I asked her.  “No”, she smartly replied, “I’m just rubbing it in!”

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Rating: 3.4/5 (327 votes cast)

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Posted in Clever Jokes, Cute Jokes, Little Johnny Jokes

Back Seat Driver Joke

My daughter sure showed me what a back seat driver I am!  On our way to the mall today, I stopped short at a red light causing the car to jolt.  As soon as I jerked my 3 year old in the back seat hollered Daaaaave.  Not sure why she had called my husband’s name, I asked her why she had said what she did.  “That’s what you say when someone stops like that”, she innocently replied.

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Rating: 2.9/5 (118 votes cast)

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Posted in Cute Jokes, Little Johnny Jokes
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