Two guys were playing golf, one of them was about to swing the golf club when he noticed a funeral procession going by on the street. The man stopped in mid-swing and closed his eyes and said a short prayer. The other man truly inspired, remarked, clearing his throat, “wow that was one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen.” “Well”, the other man said “I was married to her for 35 years.”
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One Way To Save Money
A man named Marty called his son. “Harry I have news to tell you, I know it’s going to upset you but I have made up my mind and there is nothing you can do about it. I have decided to divorce your mother.” “But dad how can that be “the son asked “you have been married for 40 years, and you always seemed to get along? What happened suddenly?” “Son, I have made up my mind, and I don’t want you to try to convince me out of it.” “OK” the son responded “but promise me you won’t do anything until I come and talk to you in person, and I am going to ask all of the siblings to fly in also.”Alright” said the father hanging up “you have my word. “Well” said Marty, turning to his wife “I got them all to come in and I didn’t even have to pay for the tickets.”
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Posted in Clever Jokes, Long Jokes
The Cheaper Solution
A lady went to a psychiatrist complaining of a terrible phobia. “Every time I lay down on my bed I get this terrible fear that there is something underneath. “Wow” responded the psychiatrist “I’ve never heard of such a phobia, but like all phobias it can be treated, but it will likely take around 20 sessions.” “OK” responded the lady “how much is each session?” “Oh it’s just $80 a session, but trust me it’s well worth it.” When the lady didn’t come back to the psychiatrist he gave the lady a call. “How come I didn’t hear from you? He asked.” “Well” responded the lady “when I came home and told my husband about the cost he thought he would save some money, he just cut the legs off the bed!”
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Posted in Long Jokes, Phobia Jokes
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