The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Joke of the Day
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Enjoy our collection of really funny jokes, after all that’s what they are here for!
Thoughts About Money
Ever wonder? If you have to put two cents in, but it’s only a penny for your thoughts, who gets the extra penny?
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Posted in Funny Thoughts
Mean Boss Joke
The CEO of a large company was walking to the cafeteria along with two of his secretaries. Upon tripping on a bottle, a genie appeared and asked the threesome if they would like to each make a wish.
The first secretary excitedly exclaimed, “I wish I was on a beach in a tropical island!” Immediately her wish was granted.
The next secretary proclaimed, “I wish I was on a tour of France!” Immediately her wish too, was granted.
Being that it was now his turn to make a wish the CEO exclaimed “I want the two of them back in their offices right after lunch!”
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Kids Fears Joke
I live in Canada, a plane ride away from my family, so I was very excited to inform my twin 3 year olds that we were going to go on a plane to see my family. It was after a few days that it struck me that they seemed nervous about it. After talking it over with them I finally figured out the problem. They thought they would each have to fly on a separate plane by themselves. How else would we all fit into one of those tiny planes that fly in the sky?
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The Honest Lawyer?
The city miser was on his death bed, as his last request he asked to be alone with his lawyer, doctor, and priest. “I know I am going to die” he said ” and I would like to take my money with me, so I am going to give each of you $150,000 and I want you to each make sure the money gets in the coffin.”
It was a few days after the funeral when the priest over flowing with guilt finally confided to the other two that he only put $100,000 back. “I’m glad you brought it up” said the doctor, “because I have also been feeling guilty, I only put $80,000 back.”
“You people should be ashamed of yourselves” stormed the lawyer “stealing money like that, am I the only honest person here? Here look at this” he said pulling out his check book, “look I wrote out a check for the full $150,000!”
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Just Being Practical
A man wasn’t feeling well so he went to the doctor. After examining him the doctor took his wife aside, and said, “your husband has a very sensitive heart. I am afraid he’s not going to make it, unless you treat him like a king, which means you are at his every beck and call, 24 hours a day and that he doesn’t have to do anything himself. On the way home the husband asked with a note of concern “what did he say?” “Well”, the lady responded, “he said it looks like you probably won’t make it.”
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Posted in Doctor Jokes, Long Jokes
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