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Hot Ice?

Q. What drink can’t freeze?
A. Hot Water.

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Posted in Funny Riddles Tagged with:

Cannibal Cookbook

Cannibal Wife- Honey, why did you think I wanted a subscription to People Magazine?
Husband- Oh I’m sorry dear I thought it was a cookbook.

Better Homes and Gardens MEAT COOK BOOK 1968
photo credit: Thoth, God of Knowledge

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Posted in Cannibal Jokes Tagged with:

The Funny Clown

Steve Snodgrass
Q. Why did the clown go to the doctor.
A. He was feeling a little funny.

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Posted in Corny Jokes Tagged with:
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One Way To Gain Weight

Client- What should I do my cat ate a bag of unpopped popcorn.

Vet-  Keep him out of the sun!
Photo credit: Yukari*

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Posted in Corny Jokes Tagged with:

Pirate Joke

Q. How did the pirate stop smoking.
A. He used the patch.

 

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Posted in Corny Jokes Tagged with:

Who’s Really Happy?

I don’t suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.

Photo credit: DerrickT

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Posted in Cute Quotes Tagged with:

The Real Mother-In-Law

Once two ladies came before King Solomon, fighting over a boy. “He’s my son-in law” one said “No he’s mine” countered the other. After thinking for a few minutes the King finally decided on a ruling. “Bring me my sword and we will cut the boy in half, they will each get half.” “No” the first lady screamed “don’t cut him in half I would rather the second lady get the whole son-in-law.” Ah Hah said King Solomon with a big smile I now know who is the real mother-in-law. For a only the real mother-in-law would stand quietly while her son-in-law gets cut in half.”

 

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Posted in Jewish Jokes, Long Jokes, Mother In Law Jokes Tagged with:

Who’s Worse?

A Drunk climbs on a bar stool in a bar and screams “All lawyers are sneaky thieves.” A man stands up and says “Hey, I resent that remark.”
The drunk shouts back “Why, are you a lawyer?” “No”, says the man “I’m a sneaky thief.”

photo credit: ttarasiuk

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Posted in Lawyer Jokes Tagged with:

Where Did I put My Teeth?

Two old ladies were discussing their husbands over tea. “I wish that my Robert would stop biting his nails. It gets me very upset.
“My Calvin used to do the same thing,” the older woman replied. “But I broke him of the habit.”
“How?” the first women asked
“I hid his teeth.”

=

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Posted in Old People Jokes Tagged with:
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