An Amish girl and her mother were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again. The girl asked, “Mother, what is this?”
The mother, never having seen an elevator, responded, “I have never seen anything like this in my life. I don’t know what it is.”
While the girl and her mother watched with amazement, an old man in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button.
The walls opened and the man rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the girl and her mother watched the small numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until the last number was reached, and they watched some more as the numbers began to light in reverse order.
The walls opened up again and a hunky young man stepped out.
The mother, not taking her eyes off the young man, said quietly to her daughter, “Go get your father.”
A blind man walks into a store with a seeing eye dog. Much to the store owners surprise the blind man picks up the dog by it’s tail and starts swinging it around over his head. Puzzled, and a bit upset the store owner walks over to the man and says, “excuse me sir can I help you.” “No thank you” the blind man replies “I’m just looking around!”
A lady was walking down the street when she was a approached by a lady beggar asking for money. The lady took a $20 bill out of her purse, and asked “if I give you this money will you spend it on chocolate.” “Don’t be ridiculous” the beggar replied “does it look like I have nothing better to spend money on?” “How about shopping?” she asked. “No,” the beggar said, “don’t you understand I need money just to stay alive.” “Will you spend it on your hair?” the lady asked. Annoyed the beggar replied, “No, I just need money for food, and shelter. “In that case” the lady said “I don’t want to just give you money I would like you to eat out with me and my husband tonight.”
“Why?” The beggar asked. “Well,”the lady said “I think it’s important for him to see what a lady looks like after she gives up chocolate, shopping, and hair appointments.”
One day an employee sends a letter to his boss to increase his salary!!!
In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing mo$t de$perately. I think you $hould be under$tanding of the need$ of u$ worker$ who have given $o much $upport including $weat and $ervice to your company.
I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon
The next day, the employee received this letter of reply:
I kNOw you have been working very hard. NOwadays, NOthing much has changed. You must have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well .
NOw the newspaper are saying the world`s leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if the United States may go into aNOther recession. After the NOvember presidential elections things may turn bad.
I have NOthing more to add NOw You kNOw what I mean.
An Illinois man left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel he decided to send his wife a quick email. Unfortunately, when typing her address, he missed one letter, and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher’s wife whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her email, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor in a dead faint.At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen: Dearest Wife,
Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow. P.S. Sure is hot down here.
A colleague and I were fitting clothes for a fashion show benefit. All the models were residents of our small town, including the local doctor. He tried on one outfit and then asked, “what should I do next?” gleefully seizing the opportunity my friend replied, “go to the dressing room remove your clothes put on a paper robe and wait.” -Terry L. Roschak