Blog Archives

Enjoy our collection of funny stories, after all that’s what they are here for!

Porshe Joke

Anxious to finally get the porch painted, I urged by husband to allow the man that knocked on our door looking for handiwork to do the job. The man happily agreed to paint it for $50. We were thrilled at our good luck of getting our wide porch painted for a measly $50. Minutes later there was a knock at the door. “All done” he said. “Already?” we both said at once. “Yeah, and by the way, it’s a lexus not a porsche”.

VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rating: 3.9/5 (50 votes cast)

share me!

Posted in Funny Stories

Practice Isn’t Always A Good Sign Joke

I was very happy when an acquaintance of mine informed me that she was engaged. Trying to help, I told her that before my marriage, I went for premarital counseling and found it very helpful. “Oh, we don’t need counseling,” she quickly assured me, “we were both married several times before!”

VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rating: 2.8/5 (70 votes cast)

share me!

Posted in Funny Stories, Wedding Jokes

Immigrant Joke

An immigrant from Poland who was married to an American barged into the police station out of breath. “My wife, she try to kill me” he stammered. “Are you absolutely sure?” questioned the police officer. “Of course I sure” he countered insulted “you think I dumb, look what I found in her purse” he said pulling a bottle out of his pocket, “look it says polish remover!”

VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rating: 3.6/5 (116 votes cast)

share me!

Posted in Funny Stories, Long Jokes
Advertisements

Vice President Joke

In the year 2000 Joe Lieberman ran for president, being that he was the first potential Jew in high office he was given a lot of attention. After a disappointing loss Joe walked into his house. “Don’t worry” said his wife “in this house you’ll always be vice president!”

VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rating: 2.7/5 (346 votes cast)

share me!

Posted in Funny Speech Openers, Funny Stories, Jewish Jokes

Heat Joke

It was during a heat wave in August one summer when I saw this sign on a telephone pole. “Garage sale this Sunday 7AM until 100 degrees.”

VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rating: 2.9/5 (198 votes cast)

share me!

Posted in Funny Stories, Garage Sale Jokes, Weather Jokes

Dirty Restaurant Joke

A couple walked into a cheap looking restaurant. As they were about to sit down they noticed there were crumbs on the seat, after cleaning up the seat and wiping down the table they sat down. A waitress came over asking them what they wanted, “I’ll just take a coffee” said the man, “me too” said the lady “and make sure the cup is clean.” The waitress returned with their drinks “OK” she said placing down their cups “now, which one of you wanted the clean cup”.

VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rating: 3.4/5 (85 votes cast)

share me!

Posted in Funny Stories, Long Jokes

How To Get Rid Of Junk

My husband was trying to get rid of a perfectly good couch, but despite it being outside for over a week with a sign that said “FREE” nobody was taking it. Then my teenage son thought of a plan, he put a sign “$50” on it, it was gone the next day!

VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rating: 3.7/5 (29 votes cast)

share me!

Posted in Funny Stories

Funny Names

My husband’s name is Bud and my name is Beth. For our 20th anniversary my son got us a name plate for our house it said “Bud Beth and Beyond”

VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rating: 3.7/5 (45 votes cast)

share me!

Posted in Funny Stories

Manly Men Joke

My husband was trying to be nonchalant before a speech he was about to give. “Are you nervous” I asked “Nah” he said with a yawn “piece of tea, piece of tea.”

VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rating: 2.6/5 (42 votes cast)

share me!

Posted in Funny Stories, Men Jokes

Outhouse Joke

A man gathered all of his children together and said “Children when George Washington knocked down the cherry tree, he told his father honestly that it was him , now answer me honestly, Who knocked down the outhouse? Finally the youngest son admitted it was him, at which he received a lashing he wouldn’t soon forget. “Thats not fair” complained the son, “George Washington didn’t get punished when he told the truth.”

“Son” replied the Father “The difference is, that George Washington’s  father wasn’t in the tree when he knocked it down!”

VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rating: 4.2/5 (66 votes cast)

share me!

Posted in Funny Stories, Long Jokes
Advertisements
Page 5 of 6« First23456

Categories