A wallet was found containing a large sum of money with no identification.

Will those laying claim to it please form a DOUBLE LINE at the customer service counter!

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Husband – Honey! I won! I’m the president!

Wife – Honestly?

Husband – Why do you have to bring that up?

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Oh, no – we’re trapped in here. The street is closed.

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Wife – You hate my relatives!
Husband – No I don’t! In fact I like your mother in law more than I like mine!

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I just broke up with my girlfriend!
Isn’t this the fourth of fifth time you two broke up?
Yeah! But only the second time for good.

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Hey! did I step on your toe on my way out?

Yeah!

Oh good! Then I guess this is my row!

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We didn’t have any cough medicine
so I gave him a laxative.
It really worked!
Do you see how he’s afraid to cough?!

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Man – So what is the best thing about being 104?
Old Lady – No peer pressure

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This is a PRIVATE conversation, YOUR”E NOT SUPPOSED TO HEAR!

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